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How do people do it? I really don't know...
I might have lost my faith in love after marriage, or even after engagement...!!?
I don't know if people are lying about their happiness with their spouses after they get married and all, but I feel that there is something wrong when I see people who are married, with kids, talking about how much they miss the other person... This "something wrong" might be something wrong with me, probably, not them..
I don't know! It is hard for me to believe it, because ex used to make me feel that he wasn't excited for our wedding. In fact, he made me feel like it was something he wants to get done with and get out of his way. Like not wanting, and saying that we don't need to celebrate our anniversary. Like not making a deal out of my birthday even as a complement. Like doing nothing for Valentine's day... Like never being excited to see me or to do something just to see me smiling... Like a lot of things... He said he'd miss me when we broke up.. I didn't want to believe it, because he never came to me and told me "I miss you" or "I love you" if I didn't remind him to say it.. Hell, he said "I love ME too" once when I said "I love you".. Still hurts!! Maybe he said he missed me once...
He said he isn't good at expressing his feelings. That would be fine -not entirely acceptable either- if he didn't "express" his other feelings about not wanting to do all those things...
Guys think that if they say "I'm not good at expressing myself", we'd excuse them and think that they are really into us bla bla, but poor them they would have "expressed" if they could!! Nonsense!!. What if a girl and a guy have sex, and she doesn't show her interest or desire in sex, and everytime he wanna have sex with her, she'd seem reluctant and makes him feel that she was forced to do it.. And she'd tell the guy that she "isn't good at expressing her sexual desires".. And they'd have silent, quiet, almost dead sex... And at the end, she'd tell him, "you are, my friend, a demanding guy!!"..
Emotions to us are like sex to them... But I guess "some" guys would take dead sex and be happy with it, as long as it is sex...
I just read on facebook one of my contacts saying that she is so excited because she is going to Almadeena with her husband, "just me and him"... And I was like, for real? Is he excited too? Do men do that? Do they actually want to spend time with their wives without TV without interruptions and NOT FOR SEX? Hmmmm...
I got frustrated... Maybe the reason that I wasn't happy was that I was as he said, "demanding"... But on the other hand, I wasn't inventing demands, girls usually ask for the same things; and I did ask around, I turned out to be quite alright... I am sometimes a perfectionist in the sense that I want things to be done in the highest quality available... And if I knew that the person who is in front of me is able to deliver better than what he is doing, but he/she isn't because he/she doesn't feel like making the extra effort, and this repeats over and over again... I don't become completely satisfied.. Anyways, he was "lazy", a total couch potato; so who is he to judge?
So, some people are actually into each other ha?.... Interesting....
4 cool peeps replied:
He just don't deserved you babe and your not demanding AT ALL! Even wonder woman need to be pampered and need to get some love. I don't know if what I'm saying is true or not but for me, I need those things you mentioned above :)
Hey you have FB? Add me add me :P My user name is Cate Sindorei, LOOOL :P
You are better off without him.
You don't need to be in a relationship when all you ever do is ask for things other than having then without asking, i mean i can be demanding too at times, but that's totally okay!! we need things in a relationship in order to make it right, or else it will be just plain boring.
Don't let your previous relationship lose your hope in finding a better man, someday you'll be surprised at how happy you can be and how you'd change your mind towards what you used to believe in.
I truly wish you all the best :)
C
That is what I used to avoid saying to myself! He wasn't all bad, I didn't mean to make him look so awful, but from the emotional aspect I was constantly hurt. He was better than many men in some other aspects.
O sure I'll look for you on FB, let me get to a computer on Sat :p
Thanks hun *hug*
Bliss
Thank you hunny you kaman! *tight hug*... I'm trying to tell myself the same advise, but what you start to believe based on experience is hard to shake off! I'm optimistic though, if no man on Earth is good enough for me, I'm hopeful that God is keeping me for a great guy in heaven ;) hehe..
ohDear!!
Guess you might be observing him too much to feel him ;) Whether it is relation or sex, the key, for me, is communication. If you give a chance to know each other, it would be wonderful - both the relation and sex.
I guess, God will meet you with the right guy here in earth so that you will be in heaven with one request less for him ;)
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