Sunday, February 28, 2010

Annoying Guy

So I'm a team member on this project at work; the project goes like this: 6 days of full day meetings where the 12 of us (team members) are discussing, analyzing, and documenting a certain process in our work place to improve it. It is a lot of mental work and heated discussion!!
After the six days, the elected team leader would present the project and the action plan to the executives, and after approval, he/she would lead the implementation of the change to improve the process.
The daily team meetings are full of discussions and sometimes opposing opinions; the discussion was carried out in a respectful and organized way, even if one was trying to make out a point that EVERYONE is wrong! Which was good...

So the team members were selected by their departments executives/senior managers; and one of the members is a receptionist aka "annoying guy".
Annoying guy was not really annoying to me until this happened: we just came back from a short break last Wednesday, and the facilitators were trying to get us to come work on this project on Thursday. I told them, I would love to, but absolutely not, I have lectures and a quiz this Thursday in Bahrain. I said, I'm not coming! He replied: if you're not coming, then who will attack? (He is implying that I am attacking others when I am discussing problems with the process and asking them questions and requesting explanations, I was pretty active :p)
I was shocked because, not only he thinks he is all that and that his receptionist experience qualifies him now to discuss medical stuff (he actually "apologizes" for using the medical terminology), now he is trying to look important by this nice question, who will attack?
I was so annoyed, so shocked of such childish behavior coming from a man who has double my working experience. Fine! I smiled and told him that I am not attacking, I am working for the hospital!
His comment was annoying. But I chose to ignore it for professional reasons. Then on Saturday, I was speaking to the group, making a serious comment about an issue that was raised up, and he interrupted me when I first started, and he repeated the word again in front of everyone (go on, attack!). I stopped talking, turned to him smiling, and said "thank you (flan) for your NICE comment" and I turned to the group with a totally serious face and went on talking. Nobody looked at him again, I was able to pull their attention to me thanking him for the word that he said, and then pull it back to what I was saying. It was like, when there is a child shouting and you give him a cookie and he shuts up!
I ignored his behavior not because I could not answer him, wallahi I have nicer come backs, but I rather not reduce myself to his size.
After we finished the discussion, he told me "I am just kidding! You are serious since morning?!" I told him seriously, "that was NOT nice". Period. Ignore. He repeats, I repeat and then ignore. Ignore, ignore, ignore...

Annoying guy disrupted and interrupted most of us, most of us think he is either annoying, or just a person who is ready to clown around at any time. We all despise it when he turns to pretentious mode and pretends to know it all.

He is so annoying, I keep ignoring him whenever he throws another nice comment. And I don't think he would dare give me one of those anymore, because he knows that I will smile and thank him and make him look like a fool.

He got to the look-at-me girl, she got so annoyed that she really got upset about some stupid thing he said. I told her since day one to ignore him, because we are a group of intelligent people, and we will certainly not give weight to whatever foolishness he blurts out. She didn't listen to me and she argued with him.

Isn't he annoying? :p

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Butt Ache

Since I know I won't have time or energy to reply to your comments, I'm gonna start by saying ThaNks guys and girls for your support.. I'm sorry for those of you who know what a panic attack is like :( it is just awful! I read on Wikipedia that it is "the most horrible feeling a person experiences" or something of that sort, and I went "yaaaaas that's true :("...
I missed you too and I missed blogger and I missed telling you stuff that I don't have anyone to tell to! I miss you a lot mwah :*

So.. Post now..
On my way back from Bahrain. I had 3 lectures, two hours each, 6 hours straight!! Well, the last lecturer finished about 30 minutes earlier, but 30 minutes is insignificant compared to the amount of time that I've been spending SITTING lately...
I was complaining just yesterday that I've spent the last two days sitting in a FULL DAY meeting, I didn't move much except for prayer, food, or the toilet. Those meetings are going to be for 6 days for a pilot project that I'm a member of. My butt hurts. The meetings hurt my butt. The 3+ hours trip to Bahrain hurt my butt. The 5 and a half hours lectures hurt my butt. And it will hurt on the -inshallah- an hour an a half trip back home.
My butt hurts so much, I am unable to sit on it!! I wanna sit on somebody else's butt! My butt is suffocating.. it is so sore that I am not even considering a butt massage... I'm gonna have gluteal wasting! Is my butt gonna get smaller or larger?... It hurts!

And the thought that I have four more days of those meetings next week ... And the meeting would go from 8 AM untill 7 PM... OMG!

Have mercy...

The most enjoyable part of my trip back is the juicy shawirma I just had. Alhamdulillah for food.. Straightened up my mood!!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Hey, I'm back...
Dunno why or for how long, dunno if I'll even finish this post or publish it.. But I know that I am back.

I have been estranged, I haven't been myself for quite a long time; I have been depressed and tired.. I had panic attacks, at first I didn't know that what I'm going through is panic attacks, but then when I fainted one day, and I read about it, I realized that I have been having them for some time... I took lectures about panic disorders when I studied psychiatry, but I have never imagined that panic could be THIS awful... I believe that nobody is going to understand what recurring panic attacks is until it he/she experiences it... Trust me on that, it is the worst feeling :(

One day last week mom decided that it is enough what my family have put me through, it was when I felt I was stepping into insanity. That day I had one at work and for the first time I went to ER. Valium was nothing to me, I slept for a couple of hours and I woke up in almost the same state... It became real to them that I am getting sick.. And that is when they released me...

Getting closer to God was my treatment, I still have five tablets of Valium untouched (and are not for sale :p).. I don't want to become an addict...

I'm fine now, not 100% fine, but I am.. There is still the occasional anxiety that sometimes exceeds the normal, but I can say that I am al7amdilla controlling it. The way to treat panic attacks is basically controlling those emotions when you get them; convincing yourself that nothing bad is REALLY going to happen. This is of course easier said than done; how can you convince yourself that you're safe, when you are convincing that you aren't, and everything else doesn't make sense?
There are some methods to do this control that psychiatrists know.. If that didn't work, they'd put you on anti-anxiety and anti-depressants. I'm very thankful to Allah that I didn't get there.. It is a blessing.

Panic attacks are so awful, I can't even begin to describe it... But if I could get out, so can most people..

So, I'm back!

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