Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Hey, I'm back...
Dunno why or for how long, dunno if I'll even finish this post or publish it.. But I know that I am back.

I have been estranged, I haven't been myself for quite a long time; I have been depressed and tired.. I had panic attacks, at first I didn't know that what I'm going through is panic attacks, but then when I fainted one day, and I read about it, I realized that I have been having them for some time... I took lectures about panic disorders when I studied psychiatry, but I have never imagined that panic could be THIS awful... I believe that nobody is going to understand what recurring panic attacks is until it he/she experiences it... Trust me on that, it is the worst feeling :(

One day last week mom decided that it is enough what my family have put me through, it was when I felt I was stepping into insanity. That day I had one at work and for the first time I went to ER. Valium was nothing to me, I slept for a couple of hours and I woke up in almost the same state... It became real to them that I am getting sick.. And that is when they released me...

Getting closer to God was my treatment, I still have five tablets of Valium untouched (and are not for sale :p).. I don't want to become an addict...

I'm fine now, not 100% fine, but I am.. There is still the occasional anxiety that sometimes exceeds the normal, but I can say that I am al7amdilla controlling it. The way to treat panic attacks is basically controlling those emotions when you get them; convincing yourself that nothing bad is REALLY going to happen. This is of course easier said than done; how can you convince yourself that you're safe, when you are convincing that you aren't, and everything else doesn't make sense?
There are some methods to do this control that psychiatrists know.. If that didn't work, they'd put you on anti-anxiety and anti-depressants. I'm very thankful to Allah that I didn't get there.. It is a blessing.

Panic attacks are so awful, I can't even begin to describe it... But if I could get out, so can most people..

So, I'm back!

8 cool peeps replied:

MonMon ♛ said...

7mdillah 3la slamtik w men jd I missed u </3
w allah yhwen 3leek 7bebti :"(
I wish I could help

frogman said...

7amdilla 3ala salamtik..

and welcome back..

I had a panic attack once and it was absolutely awful, 7amdilla i kinda knew it was coming, and warned the people around me, so they were there giving me water, and petting me and stuff lol..

but it is true, people underestimate the power of faith and praying and turning to Allah to help..

M O Z A said...

matchofeen shar,

im happy that you got closer to Allah, coz i believe too that hes the ultimate healer.

Smart CoOKie said...

al 7mdullah 3la al slamah

Wafa said...

i am glad that you are back and hopfully for good, and even happier that you are realizing your problem and taking control of them. Inshallah things will be better 3ala 6ool ya rab :)

nosa said...

welcome bk

iv missed u

i sometimes think i get panic attacked.. but just light ones..

life will go on.. n the best way to be calm is quran n praying...

allah esahelha 3leech ya raab

Anonymous said...

glad to see you back and feeling much better :)

u need to take good care of urself

Whispering Thoughts said...

Al7mdillah

Good news wallah …. Lif is fair. Insh Allah , God will compensate u for all what u have been through.
ya rab y3afieek o ys3dik ya rab
:)

 
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